I am the mother of one precocious preschooler, a set of adorable twins and the wearer of many hats-- mommy, wife, belly dancer, teacher, library student and writer. With all that on my plate, occasionally, I have time for a workout. You can also find a few more of my witty asides at Lifestyles of the Destitute and Obscure

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Conversation between Twins in Utero

Twin B:  Would you quit pinching my butt?
Twin A:  Only if you would stop sitting on my face.
Twin B:  I’m bored.  Wanna play Twister?
Twin A:  Okay, you go first.
B: Okay.  Put your right hand on bladder and your left foot on ribcage.
A: Got it!  Now you put your knee on belly button and your right hand on sternum.
B: Which knee?
A: How ‘bout both?
B: Okay, cool!
A: Now what?
B: I dunno, um, how ‘bout this—keeping your hands and feet where they are, try turning around.
A: Whoa! That’s fun.  What are you gonna do next?
B: I’m not sure.  I think maybe I’ll just kick Mom.  That’s always fun.

Twin A: I have the hiccups.
Twin B: Yeah, I had ‘em about an hour ago.  Have you tried putting your head upside down and drinking water?
A: I am upside down.
B: Oh, right.
A: And we don’t drink anything yet, even though we’ve got our sucking reflex.
B: Wait, I thought Mom said I was upside down.
A: You are—to be born, that is.  Mom wants your head down.
B: How do you know what Mom wants?
A: It’s not just Mom, it’s the doctors, too.
B: Well, maybe I can’t help it.
A: Maybe, but it’d still be easier if you were head down like me.
B: You just think you know everything.  I’m not talking to you anymore.
A: Well, we can’t really talk yet anyway.  We’re in water, not to mention we don’t have the slightest concept about how language works.
B: See, you think you’re so smart.
A: I thought you weren’t talking to me.
B: I’m not.  We can’t talk—remember?

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Comments (4)

  1. Andrea Laszlo 06/07/2012 at 2:35 pm

    This sounds to me like what they would really say if they could. Funny as always, Allison.

  2. Erin 06/03/2012 at 10:26 pm

    Love it! I’m reading this as my twin girls are chatting back in forth in their beds – they went to bed an hour ago and they are STILL talking 🙂 Can wait to meet your baby A & B! Let me know if you need anything 🙂

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  4. Natasha 05/25/2012 at 11:12 pm

    How cute! I can’t wait to see how the twinsies bond after they’re born. Keep growing strong little ones!